CHAPTER ONE
INTRODUCTION
1.1 Background to the Study
A person can be
considered disabled if he or she has a condition that affects the ability to
function without assistance at a level needed to maintain his well-being
(Purse, 1998). This shows that such a person with disability may not be able to
perform things in a normal way, hence needs an adaptive aid to perform what
others can do normally. Different societies have their own definitions of
disability. By adding “dis” to the ability of some people due to their
impairment, disability is the idealist product of societal development within a specific
cultural context (Priestley, 1998).
Definitions of
disability have not been straightforward. Impairment, disability and handicap
are commonly used as related terms. Lewis (1995) summarised the distinction:
“Impairment is a
neutral term to mean the loss of structure or function (such as hearing
loss).Disability is the impact of the impairment (for example, poor speech may
be the result of a hearing loss). Handicap is the impact of the impairment or
disability as a result of other` negative evaluation of it (for example poor
speech becomes a handicap if it causes others to be patronising).”
This partially
corresponds to World Health Organization’s definition of a disability which is
any restriction or lack (resulting from an impairment) of ability to perform an
activity in the manner of or within the range considered normal for a human
being (Barnes, 2003).
However,
increasing number of people with disabilities argue that it is an inadequate
definition of their experience. They reject the notions of “normal” for
a human being, positing that some degree of impairment is normal for most human
beings at some point in their lives and that the restrictions and deprivations
experienced by disabled people actually arise from the assumption that they are
outside the norm; that their lives should be organised and managed by
institutions outside the mainstream until such time as they are able (through
rehabilitation or cure) to regain an approximation of normality and,
therefore, to have their needs catered for through mainstream provision once
more (Hurst, 1995).
A person with
disability is presented to people as a personal tragedy or impaired body. In
general terms, disability is construed as an individual misfortune (Zammit,
2009). This make some people tend to avoid relating with such an individual.
People have long neglected the need for intimacy and sex relationship with
people living with disabilities. This makes it very
difficult for disabled people to express their need for intimate relationship
and finding a suitable life partner which is one of the most important things
in life (Daily Health Reviews, 2008).
Relationships
usually involve some level of interdependence. People in a relationship tend to
influence each other, share their thoughts and feelings, and engage in
activities together. However, because of this interdependence, most things that
have changed or impacted on one member of the relationship will have some level
of impact on the other member (Weber, 1998). These influences ensure
compatibility and stability which makes one feel intoxicated and thinking of
the relationship being everlasting.
On the other
hand, a failure or lack of ability to influence one another may make one feel
something is wrong, as it gets stronger, it may lead to the total breakdown in
the relationship that will have an effect either on one partner or all the
people involved.
In
the views of many writers like Jones and Burdette (1994), Weber (1998) and
Willingham (2009) noted that relationship is based on three important words
which are love, communication and respect which are all key components
necessary for every good relationship. Absence of one of the three may lead to
a broken relationship (Willingham, 2009). Also, Kalsow and Robinson (1996)
stated that relationship goes along with life commitment, love and religious
commitment and value.
Broken
pre-marital relationships are taking place all over the society and it shows
that a break up is one of the sad realities of life. Many times, one wonders
which is worse; staying in an unhappy relationship or broken relationship.
Either way, it is a deep personal loss, a shattering experience that can force
one into temporary depression or permanent harm (Sonia, 2010). It has caused
many breakdowns in friendships and has prevented some intimate relationships from leading to marriage. Salami (1999), opined that
instability in relationship is one of the oldest problems in human history.
This starts from quarrelling and fighting between both partners which later
leads to the end of such relationship. Relationship breakdown occurs most often
because one or both of the partners do not have the skills to make the
relationship work harmoniously (Keenan, 2010). It goes from temporary to
permanent when one or both of the partners are unwilling to learn new ways of
relating to each other.
According to
Chinwe (2010), the chance of either a man or woman to cause a break up in
relationship is like giving birth to male or female child. This means it can be
either of the two partners that will cause the breakdown in the relationship
sometime even without signals or any reasons. In some, there are series of
warning signals and signs indicating the approach to the termination of the
relationship.
There
are many other factors that can lead to break down in any relationship. One of
these is the level of communication that exists between the partners. Good
relationships are based upon good communication. Mutual understanding creates
these relationships and they become stronger as the understanding increases.
Once both partners understand the hidden signs and the precise meaning of what
is being said or done (e.g. keeping quiet) they will develop a healthy
relationship. On the other hand, one feels irritated when what is communicated
is misunderstood. Here lies the relation between bad communication and
relationships. The level of commitment of both partners to the relationship may
have an adverse effect on the relationship. This can create a gap in the communication
and lead to break down in the relationship. This happens when one partner is
half committed to the relationship (Joe, and JLM & Associates, 2007).
Relationship breakdown occurs most often because one or both of the partners do not have the skills to make the relationship work
harmoniously (Keenan, 2010).
In present time,
the rate at which relationships are being broken is however, an alarming one.
Hurley (2005) stated that the rate of broken relationships have increased in
United States, Britain, South Africa to mention but a few countries.
Also, according
to United States annual review on sociology, they reported that 55% of
different-sex cohabiters do marry within five years of moving together while
40% break up within that same period. However, people with physical disability
are not left out of this painful experience.
This is as a
result of many taboos attached to relating with anybody with physical or mental
disability which makes people to have many negative attitudes that have some
effects on any relationship they tend to establish (Bacquer & Sharma,
1997). Since ancient times, people with disabilities were neglected and not
helped or aided in any way whatsoever. There are a handful of ancient
individuals who believed that one's injuries or disabilities
were caused by an evil spirit, therefore inciting individuals to keep their
distance from the disabled (Voton, 2010). These preconceived ideas are still in
people’s mind and it affects the relationships with people that have
disability. Even to an extent that people with disability have negative
attitudes towards themselves.
Fine and Asch
(2000) described a set of assumptions about disability that shapes one’s
attitudes towards it.
-It is often
assumed that disability is located solely in biology, and thus disability is
accepted uncritically as an independent variable.
-When a disabled
person faces problems, it is assumed that the impairment causes them.
-It is assumed
that disability is central to the disabled person’s self-concept,
self-definition, social comparisons, and reference groups.
-It
is assumed that having disability is synonymous with needing help and social
support.
Disabled people
have historically come to regard themselves as less than normal and less
capable than others, internalising this into self-pity, self-hate and shame,
creating a false consciousness (Charlton, 2000; Grealy, 1997). This tends to
affect their sexual relationship with others.
Anderson and
Kitchin (2000) described cultural representations of disabled people as
"sick and sexless" that is supported and sustained by a set of myths.
Myths in relation to disability and sexuality include disabled people being
asexual, that is lacking a biological sex drive, being unable to partake in
sexual activity, and that disabled people (particularly those with a
developmental/ intellectual disability) lack the requisite social judgment to
behave sexually in a socially responsible manner.
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