HAPPY
AND UNHAPPY PEOPLE
In
life, there exist two kinds of people-the happy and the unhappy ones. We come
across each type of them every day. There are the miserable people, who are
always complaining about anything and everything, while on the other side we
have the optimistic people who always look at the glass as half full and are
constantly seeking more out of life.
A
sense of purpose is what drives happy people and intimidates unhappy people.
Life can either be something you embrace or something you hide from.
Unfortunately, there are not as many happy people in the world as we would
like, and thus, we have negative energy cast upon us on a daily basis.
Let’s
take a critical look at some key differences between happy and unhappy people.
Unhappy
people sit back and wait, expecting opportunities to present themselves. They
are sedentary when it comes to achieving goals – if they have any.
Unfortunately, another aspect is that they become complacent with where they
are in life as they wait for greater opportunities to emerge.
What
is the one thing in common between all the people on the planet? We all have
different religions, live in different parts of the world, like different
things, have different educations, but we all want to be happy. No exceptions. There is no one person born in
this world that would stand up and declare “I want to feel miserable. I
want to feel sorrow and pain. I want to be lonely and hated by others. I can’t
stand the idea of being happy.”
All
of our lives we spend searching for happiness and fulfillment. We all work hard
and try to succeed, fail and try again. Now tell me how many people do you
know, who are truly enjoying their life? Not that many? Why is it that we all
try so hard, but so many of us fail?
I
often hear people say “I’ll be happy when I get that promotion”, “I’ll be happy
as soon as I get married”, “If I can only pay my debts I’ll be happy” “I’ll be
happy once I get that contract”. What happens in reality is that we postpone
our happiness for an uncertain period of time.
We
truly believe that while we comfortably sit at home, watch TV and eat Amala and
Ewedu, Eba and Egusi, Akpu and Okro someone or something is going to come
along, knock on our door and say “Hey, are you Mr. Ebikeme? Here, I made your
boss give you a raise. Oh, and by the way, you won’t have to work any longer!
Just stop by once a month and pick up your pay.” Or “Hello Miss Elu, I happened
to run into a charming Prince on my way here, and he is dying to marry you” -
Sounds rather unrealistic, but a lot of us still wait for some miracle to fall
on our head and make us happy. And until this happens we refuse to be happy.
My
dear friends, the truth is if you aren’t happy now you most likely will NEVER
be no matter what happens. Instead of
focusing on the fortunes they personally possess, these unhappy people concern
themselves with the material possessions and successes of others.
Failing
to recognize their own achievements and all the good in their world, it seems
to these people as though everyone has it so much better than they do. People
have a hard time accepting their life at face value, being grateful for what
they do have and enjoying it.
A
lack of confidence is ever present in the minds of unhappy people. These
persons have insecurities with who they are, and thus, become introverted and
strays from communicating with other people at all costs. They lack the
self-esteem to motivate them in day-to-day life, which unfortunately can
transcend into their social life – if they have one.
These
people tend to remove themselves from social settings since they tend to be
miserable and negative by nature. Other people also do not wish to include them
in gatherings since they bring a negative, morose vibe into the group. Who
wants to be around a sadist? No tell me.
Negativity and complaints plague the minds of unhappy people. This
mindset is detrimental to any future success they hope to attain. By constantly engaging in negative thoughts,
negative thinkers place limitations upon themselves. Delivering poor work in
the office, inability to envision future success and poor self-esteem are just
a few consequences that hold negative thinkers back from their true potential.
On
the other hand, happy people go out into the world and actively look for
fulfillment. They do not take a backseat to life; they go out and make things
happen for them. They appreciate the life they have and value each minute of
every day. These happy people live like there’s no tomorrow and make the most
out of any situation. Some people dwell in the past, some people look forward
to the future, and these people live peacefully in the present.
Instead
of becoming jealous of others, these type of people relish in the success of
their friends. They use the accomplishments of their friends to motivate
themselves to do better. They do not look at what they are missing in life
rather, they appreciate the fortunes that they do have. Happiness is not having
what you want but it’s wanting what you have.
Self-esteem
for happy people is extremely high. They accept who they are and work it every
day of their lives. They radiate confidence, flaunt their pride and give off
positive vibes. Other people enjoy being in the presence of confident
individuals. Sociable people are huge
extroverts and are constantly surrounding themselves with others. They always
want to have a good time and enjoy life with people who make them happy. They
do not enjoy being isolated and would rather immerse themselves in exciting
social settings.
If you are a pessimistic person who is
always looking for the worst in every single situation, instead of enjoying
things you already have, there
is no a great-enough success to make you happy. You can win millions
tomorrow from YOU WIN programme or contracts and still be the most miserable
person on earth. While others are thinking of how they can help with that
money, and what they can do to make it work, you will be thinking of the
multiple ways you can lose that money and multiple problems the money will
bring you.
How we perceive our lives and what we
make of current situations has everything to do with our happiness and
fulfillment. If we constantly look down the road for our
happiness, our chances to find it are very close to a zero. It’s just like
trying to reach the horizon. With your every step forward, the horizon moves
one step away. There will never be tomorrow, only today. And, if you are living
in your future, always looking ahead, you risk missing what’s right under your
feet. “What you are looking for in Sokoto is right in your
Sokoto”. You can’t look to your past for happiness - it’s over. You
can’t look to your future; there are too many possible outcomes. You have to
learn how to be happy now, at this very moment.
Now tell me what stops you from being
happy right now-at this moment? You have two hands, two legs and a fine working
head. Why not to be happy? I know some people who are paralyzed from the waist down, double
amputee etc.. They wake up every day happy, thanking God for being able
to enjoy life. For being able to see beautiful bright flowers growing in the garden,
to hear birds sing in the morning.
Think about it! These people are happy
and they have to battle their own physical inabilities every day. Now look at
your own problems. Is your life really that bad huh? I know you have problems,
we all do, so what? Feel miserable for the rest of your life? Obstacles are put
in your way to make you a stronger person, to make you take some action. You
need to overcome obstacles; otherwise you’ll just rust and then get musty.
What is it that makes you an unhappy
person? Is it lack of money? Lack of love in your life? Lack of fame and
appreciation? All of the above? And now tell me how much money do you need to
be happy? How many people have to love you? Believe you me there will never be
enough my dear. Happiness and
fulfillment is a state of mind, not a new mansion or a pot of gold or a
passionate relationship - all of these things will end sooner or later and if
you place your happiness in material objects you are signing a contract for
sorrow, pain and disappointment.
Your mind will become restless due to
the multitude of desires-“Stuff” will never make you happy. The only place
where you can find happiness is in God and your heart. Think of your life as a journey. Sure you
will hit some bumps on the road, sure the sun won’t shine 24-7, but think of
how many new things you will learn, how many wonderful places will you visit,
how many people you’ll help. Happiness is not found at the end of the journey,
but in the journey itself.
Believe
me, even if you would posses all these things, you still wouldn’t be happy. You
would enjoy it for a day or two; you would have a temporary sense of
fulfillment. Remember when we were little children? we were so happy to get new
toys and clothes for Christmas! Then we were happy for a week or so but after a
while we got bored with those toys and clothes and wanted another. We are
adults now huh? But it seems like we never learn - material objects do not
contain an iota of happiness (well may be just an iota, but it’s still not
enough to make a long time change).
Sure
we all want better things for ourselves, we all are selfish human beings after
all and this is perfectly and normal. We should never stop trying to improve
our lives and our relationships. WANTING is natural in life, but the idea that
we can’t be happy unless we satisfy a certain desire is not! We should not
depend on certain circumstances and material possessions to be happy. “The
glass is half full or half empty” is the great example of the attitude we
have towards life-of course glass is half full being the right attitude.
A couple of years ago I heard a
conversation with a successful business man on why some people become
successful and some don’t, no matter how hard they try. One thing amazed me
back then. He said, both successful and unsuccessful people are always talking
about the obstacles they had on their way. The only difference was that
successful people were talking about how they overcame these obstacles, but
unsuccessful people just complained about those same obstacles.
There was also an old story of an immigrant who arrive a foreign country with
nothing more than the shirt on his back. He worked hard and eventually had a
small business and a nice house, living in relative comfort. He even managed to help his son graduate from the
University of Calabar. When the son
returned from the University, he looked at his father's books. The son
complained, "How do you even know what is your profit?" The father
replied, "I first take out the cost of the shirt I had on my back when I
arrived in this country. Everything else is profit."
How
different would your life be if the last things you think about before going to
sleep and first things you think about when you wake up are all the good things
in your life instead of the negative? God
has created you for a purpose. He wants you to be His child. In fact, you are His child unless you prove otherwise. He wants
you to be happy. And He has a marvelous future planned for you if you want it
and are willing to accept it.
“Change
is never easy, but it can be exciting. If you are going to discover and respond
to the Creator's purpose for your life, you are going to have to make some
radical changes
in
thinking. It will take effort and dedication, but the rewards are worth it on
the
journey
and quest for everything”!
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