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Friday, 13 March 2015

Happy and Unhappy People


HAPPY AND UNHAPPY PEOPLE
In life, there exist two kinds of people-the happy and the unhappy ones. We come across each type of them every day. There are the miserable people, who are always complaining about anything and everything, while on the other side we have the optimistic people who always look at the glass as half full and are constantly seeking more out of life.
A sense of purpose is what drives happy people and intimidates unhappy people. Life can either be something you embrace or something you hide from. Unfortunately, there are not as many happy people in the world as we would like, and thus, we have negative energy cast upon us on a daily basis.

Let’s take a critical look at some key differences between happy and unhappy people.
Unhappy people sit back and wait, expecting opportunities to present themselves. They are sedentary when it comes to achieving goals – if they have any. Unfortunately, another aspect is that they become complacent with where they are in life as they wait for greater opportunities to emerge.
What is the one thing in common between all the people on the planet? We all have different religions, live in different parts of the world, like different things, have different educations, but we all want to be happy. No exceptions. There is no one person born in this world that would stand up and declare “I want to feel miserable. I want to feel sorrow and pain. I want to be lonely and hated by others. I can’t stand the idea of being happy.”
All of our lives we spend searching for happiness and fulfillment. We all work hard and try to succeed, fail and try again. Now tell me how many people do you know, who are truly enjoying their life? Not that many? Why is it that we all try so hard, but so many of us fail?
I often hear people say “I’ll be happy when I get that promotion”, “I’ll be happy as soon as I get married”, “If I can only pay my debts I’ll be happy” “I’ll be happy once I get that contract”. What happens in reality is that we postpone our happiness for an uncertain period of time.
We truly believe that while we comfortably sit at home, watch TV and eat Amala and Ewedu, Eba and Egusi, Akpu  and  Okro someone or something is going to come along, knock on our door and say “Hey, are you Mr. Ebikeme? Here, I made your boss give you a raise. Oh, and by the way, you won’t have to work any longer! Just stop by once a month and pick up your pay.” Or “Hello Miss Elu, I happened to run into a charming Prince on my way here, and he is dying to marry you” - Sounds rather unrealistic, but a lot of us still wait for some miracle to fall on our head and make us happy. And until this happens we refuse to be happy.


My dear friends, the truth is if you aren’t happy now you most likely will NEVER be no matter what happens.  Instead of focusing on the fortunes they personally possess, these unhappy people concern themselves with the material possessions and successes of others.
Failing to recognize their own achievements and all the good in their world, it seems to these people as though everyone has it so much better than they do. People have a hard time accepting their life at face value, being grateful for what they do have and enjoying it.
A lack of confidence is ever present in the minds of unhappy people. These persons have insecurities with who they are, and thus, become introverted and strays from communicating with other people at all costs. They lack the self-esteem to motivate them in day-to-day life, which unfortunately can transcend into their social life – if they have one.

These people tend to remove themselves from social settings since they tend to be miserable and negative by nature. Other people also do not wish to include them in gatherings since they bring a negative, morose vibe into the group. Who wants to be around a sadist? No tell me.  Negativity and complaints plague the minds of unhappy people. This mindset is detrimental to any future success they hope to attain.  By constantly engaging in negative thoughts, negative thinkers place limitations upon themselves. Delivering poor work in the office, inability to envision future success and poor self-esteem are just a few consequences that hold negative thinkers back from their true potential.

On the other hand, happy people go out into the world and actively look for fulfillment. They do not take a backseat to life; they go out and make things happen for them. They appreciate the life they have and value each minute of every day. These happy people live like there’s no tomorrow and make the most out of any situation. Some people dwell in the past, some people look forward to the future, and these people live peacefully in the present.
Instead of becoming jealous of others, these type of people relish in the success of their friends. They use the accomplishments of their friends to motivate themselves to do better. They do not look at what they are missing in life rather, they appreciate the fortunes that they do have. Happiness is not having what you want but it’s wanting what you have.

Self-esteem for happy people is extremely high. They accept who they are and work it every day of their lives. They radiate confidence, flaunt their pride and give off positive vibes. Other people enjoy being in the presence of confident individuals.  Sociable people are huge extroverts and are constantly surrounding themselves with others. They always want to have a good time and enjoy life with people who make them happy. They do not enjoy being isolated and would rather immerse themselves in exciting social settings.
If you are a pessimistic person who is always looking for the worst in every single situation, instead of enjoying things you already have, there is no a great-enough success to make you happy. You can win millions tomorrow from YOU WIN programme or contracts and still be the most miserable person on earth. While others are thinking of how they can help with that money, and what they can do to make it work, you will be thinking of the multiple ways you can lose that money and multiple problems the money will bring you.
How we perceive our lives and what we make of current situations has everything to do with our happiness and fulfillment.   If we constantly look down the road for our happiness, our chances to find it are very close to a zero. It’s just like trying to reach the horizon. With your every step forward, the horizon moves one step away. There will never be tomorrow, only today. And, if you are living in your future, always looking ahead, you risk missing what’s right under your feet. “What you are looking for in Sokoto is right in your Sokoto. You can’t look to your past for happiness - it’s over. You can’t look to your future; there are too many possible outcomes. You have to learn how to be happy now, at this very moment.
Now tell me what stops you from being happy right now-at this moment? You have two hands, two legs and a fine working head. Why not to be happy? I know some people who are paralyzed from the waist down, double amputee etc.. They wake up every day happy, thanking God for being able to enjoy life. For being able to see beautiful bright flowers growing in the garden, to hear birds sing in the morning.
Think about it! These people are happy and they have to battle their own physical inabilities every day. Now look at your own problems. Is your life really that bad huh? I know you have problems, we all do, so what? Feel miserable for the rest of your life? Obstacles are put in your way to make you a stronger person, to make you take some action. You need to overcome obstacles; otherwise you’ll just rust and then get musty.
What is it that makes you an unhappy person? Is it lack of money? Lack of love in your life? Lack of fame and appreciation? All of the above? And now tell me how much money do you need to be happy? How many people have to love you? Believe you me there will never be enough my dear.   Happiness and fulfillment is a state of mind, not a new mansion or a pot of gold or a passionate relationship - all of these things will end sooner or later and if you place your happiness in material objects you are signing a contract for sorrow, pain and disappointment.
Your mind will become restless due to the multitude of desires-“Stuff” will never make you happy. The only place where you can find happiness is in God and your heart.   Think of your life as a journey. Sure you will hit some bumps on the road, sure the sun won’t shine 24-7, but think of how many new things you will learn, how many wonderful places will you visit, how many people you’ll help. Happiness is not found at the end of the journey, but in the journey itself.
Believe me, even if you would posses all these things, you still wouldn’t be happy. You would enjoy it for a day or two; you would have a temporary sense of fulfillment. Remember when we were little children? we were so happy to get new toys and clothes for Christmas! Then we were happy for a week or so but after a while we got bored with those toys and clothes and wanted another. We are adults now huh? But it seems like we never learn - material objects do not contain an iota of happiness (well may be just an iota, but it’s still not enough to make a long time change).   

Sure we all want better things for ourselves, we all are selfish human beings after all and this is perfectly and normal. We should never stop trying to improve our lives and our relationships. WANTING is natural in life, but the idea that we can’t be happy unless we satisfy a certain desire is not! We should not depend on certain circumstances and material possessions to be happy.   “The glass is half full or half empty” is the great example of the attitude we have towards life-of course glass is half full being the right attitude.
A couple of years ago I heard a conversation with a successful business man on why some people become successful and some don’t, no matter how hard they try. One thing amazed me back then. He said, both successful and unsuccessful people are always talking about the obstacles they had on their way. The only difference was that successful people were talking about how they overcame these obstacles, but unsuccessful people just complained about those same obstacles.
There was also an old story of an immigrant who arrive a foreign country with nothing more than the shirt on his back. He worked hard and eventually had a small business and a nice house, living in relative comfort.  He even managed to help his son graduate from the University of Calabar.  When the son returned from the University, he looked at his father's books. The son complained, "How do you even know what is your profit?" The father replied, "I first take out the cost of the shirt I had on my back when I arrived in this country. Everything else is profit."
How different would your life be if the last things you think about before going to sleep and first things you think about when you wake up are all the good things in your life instead of the negative?  God has created you for a purpose. He wants you to be His child.  In fact, you are His child unless you prove otherwise. He wants you to be happy. And He has a marvelous future planned for you if you want it and are willing to accept it.
“Change is never easy, but it can be exciting. If you are going to discover and respond to the Creator's purpose for your life, you are going to have to make some radical changes
in thinking. It will take effort and dedication, but the rewards are worth it on the
journey and quest for everything”!


 You can get this book for  N200 on www.okadabooks.com & http://theotherwomaninmarriage.blogspot.com

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